On more than one occasion, I mentioned that flowers are perfect for any occasion. While that still holds true, there are other little-known occasions when giving flowers are unwarranted.

Suffice to say, there are exceptions to every rule. And to every exception, you need a back-up plan to make the rule work for you and not against you.
Here are those exceptions and the things you should do before you make a huge mess of yourself.

1. On a first date – Clearly, this one goes out for men. If you’re trying to woo a woman and you’ve finally had the guts to ask her out, giving flowers on a first date seldom makes any difference whether she’s going to see you again or not. Some people say that a woman first has to earn it while others say it doesn’t really matter. Whatever your opinion may be, prepare for the unexpected. I know it sounds totally unromantic, but hey let’s face it: you don’t have control over your date.

If you do decide to give flowers, make sure to give it to your date when you pick her up. Not in the car or at the restaurant. This way, she doesn’t have to take along the bouquet with her wherever she goes. Makes sense?

2. After a breakup – Again, this goes out to the guys. How many men have men attempted to make women they broke up with feel better by giving flowers? When you break up with someone, you don’t expect the other person to feel instantly better once you give her flowers. On the contrary, it’s going to make her feel much worse. It’s like you’re bribing her feelings—to mask her sadness (or scorn).

If you want to make someone feel better, leave your ex out of the picture. She’ll never feel happy about the break up anyway (unless she’s been secretly wanting to cut the strings for a long time). However, if you do want to get back with her, that’s when a charming bouquet of flowers is appropriate to show you’re sorry.

3. When you want to win a man – In the movies, we see girls who want to get the attention of boys they want send themselves flowers secretly. This supposedly makes the other guy jealous or more interested. Nothing else spells D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E better than this.

If you’re going to buy yourself flowers, do it because you appreciate the aesthetic arrangement of the blooms and not to impress anyone else. Or better yet, do it because you want to prettify your home, so that YOU can enjoy it.

4. When you want a promotion – Sucking up to your boss won’t make your paycheck fatter and your job title fancier. That will just make the obvious even more apparent. If you want to be promoted, work your way up the ladder. Giving flowers to your boss at a time when you are about to ask for a raise is just way too distasteful. Makes you look like a toady.

But if you must send a floral arrangement to your workplace, do it when an occasion calls for it (like a company celebration perhaps). That way, you don’t have to run the risk of being called a sycophant.

Flowers can make anyone’s day, but they can also ruin it depending on the reason behind the giving. So if you plan to send flowers, find out first what your true motive is. If you don’t know what flowers to send, check out online flower stores for ideas.